Sometimes I just wonder, if it's all really all it's cracked up to be,
Cause there's so many lies, I can't go through them all,
I wonder, how the stars still shine above,
Even when the darkness threatens to swallow them all.
Sometimes I just wonder if it's all fake,
I just wonder why things happen as they do,
Wondering... about the harshness of reality.
I always try to stay strong, be true to myself,
But I still get misunderstood by my family,
I feel trapped in a web, a web of deceit,
As if I'm trapped in a gilded cage.
Everything seems so perfect when they aren't, not really,
I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of misunderstanding,
Suffocating behind the bars of the gilded cage,
Dying.
It's just so hard sometimes to keep going,
Everyone just sees me as someone
who is continually strong, accepting life for what it is.
It's true, of course,
but sometimes I just get so tired.
Sick of the expectations forced upon,
Fed up of all my mistakes and undeserved blames,
All the undeserved scolding and nagging,
Everything.
Even when I apologize for snapping,
The scoldings still continue on, as if I never apologized.
I'm so sick and tired of all of it!
It's these kind of days that I wonder,
If my life is honestly worth living.
I feel as if I'm trapped, dying behind the gilded cage.
I wonder if I would ever be free from this.
All of it.
The misunderstandings, the undeserved blames,
Unspoken apologies that I needed, wanted, knew I deserve.
Not even a proper compliment,
Only a "good" here and there,
Not truly appreciative and congratulating my achievements,
Not even celebrating them.
I'm so fed up with it all.
I do my best, work hard when I can,
But it's still not good enough, it's never good enough for them.
I just want to let my tears fall
and them to leave me alone.
It's these times.. I wonder..
If I would ever be free from this..
And be understood properly
For once in my life..
And have my achievements celebrated and complimented
instead of being down-trodden upon and hearing those words
"You can do better" or "You're smarter than this"
I just want to be understood.
Is it so hard to just try to?
I know they do, but it's so half-hearted, so unwillingly,
So reluctantly.
I'm so sick and tired of it all.
And when I just wanna live my life,
sometimes in ways that a teenager would,
With sleepovers and volunteering,
They would say "You're too young"
I'm fed up with it, sick and tired of their excuses,
Their stupid idiotic reasons,
As if it was a perfect world.
But it's not.
It's not perfect.
Mankind is not perfect.
Reality is harsh.
So why can't they accept it?
Why can't they accept me for who I am?
They don't think much of my hobbies, composing, writing, and other things.
I'm just so sick and tired of it all.
I want to be left alone for a while.
I'm letting go my tears tonight.
Letting out them all.
